Friday, January 21, 2022
    HomeNewsHigh 5 Video Recreation Characters Getting Coal In Their Stockings This Yr

    High 5 Video Recreation Characters Getting Coal In Their Stockings This Yr

    It is essentially the most fantastic time of the yr: the vacations. For those who’re studying this, I am not at work proper now, and it is nice. My mind is fortunately freed from ideas about video video games, online game articles, and the individuals who play and browse each. I am free. Free eventually. Till January. 

    However taking a a day or two off additionally means filling this web site with the almighty drip of pre-written content material. The wheels hold turning, regardless of the day of the yr, and as a lowly employee bee, I’m completely satisfied to oblige the Recreation Informer CMS’ unending want for listicles. 

    So, what ought to we rank this time? Actually, it might be something. We do not put an excessive amount of thought into these – they’re fairly low-effort, moderate-to-high achieve items. You simply provide you with a few good buzzwords – one thing a minimum of just a few thousand individuals will click on on – throw just a few hundred phrases at it, and you bought your self a listing. Usually, you wish to theme it round one thing well timed to money in on good search engine marketing or Twitter developments; one thing lots of people are both in search of or speaking about. 

    I acquired it! Listed below are our prime 5 online game characters that might get coal of their stockings this vacation season. 

    5) Nathan Drake – The Uncharted Collection

    Everybody loves Nathan Drake; he is probably the most iconic heroes in Sony’s ever-growing roster of triple-A video games which are largely boring to play. He is good-looking, humorous, charismatic, and should you’ve by no means seen an Indiana Jones film, he looks like a very distinctive and authentic character. 

    However beneath Drake’s every-man veneer lies a deep, darkish secret. 

    He’s actually a mass assassin. Interval. Level clean. The entire thing about Uncharted video games is Nathan Drake and his merry band of idiots go to a unique nation, kill a number of zip codes price of individuals, then steal native historical artifacts. In a medium crammed to the brim with reprehensible conduct, Drake actually is a particular case right here.  

    A simple argument in Drake’s favor could be that he by no means kills good or harmless individuals – or a minimum of not deliberately. I suppose should you’re doing psychological gymnastics at an Olympic degree, killing hundreds of individuals over the course of 1 brief decade is okay, as long as they’re “dangerous.”

    What that does not excuse is the plundering of a nation’s historic artifacts. That is completely appalling, and Drake must be tried by the United Nations for his crimes in opposition to human historical past. Our data of historical civilizations’ artwork and expertise has been set again untold many years by this man attempting to make a fast buck. Till Naughty Canine releases a DLC the place Drake returns these artifacts to their rightful international locations, then I refuse to take that studio severely as a online game storyteller. I am sorry, I do know that is harsh, however because the collection stands now, I cannot overlook this irresponsible narrative.

    Nathan Drake is a horrible particular person. You possibly can quote me on that. Put coal in that man’s stocking. 

    Submit-script: Did you play Uncharted 4? Drake’s additionally a horrible husband, good God.

    4) Trevor Phillips – Grand Theft Auto V

    He is additionally a mass assassin. 

    3) 97.39845-percent of all characters in fashionable triple-A video games

    They’re all mass murderers! I do not wish to get political right here, however I do not suppose mass murderers are on Santa’s “Good Record.” Sorry, however that is simply how I used to be raised. 

    Now look, I’m not espousing the concept video video games trigger real-world violence – that is a dangerous concept regurgitated advert nauseam by right-wing pundits that each ignores precise analysis and is reductive to video video games as an artwork kind. Nor am I saying video video games are too violent. I really like violence. You possibly can quote me on that. 

    What I am saying is, after we’re contemplating this checklist – and consider me, a variety of consideration has gone into it since I began writing it seven minutes in the past – if we’re coming down on characters like Nathan Drake and Trevor Phillips for his or her propensity for mass homicide, then we should maintain all different, comparable online game characters accountable as effectively. If we would like video video games to be taken severely as a medium, then we have to be prepared to criticize the artwork kind we love, maintain it to increased requirements, and anticipate higher from it. 

    For this reason I’m right here to say: 97.39845-percent of all characters in fashionable triple-A video games are getting coal of their stockings this yr in the course of the holidays. Too many dangerous boys on the market on the cabinets of your native GameStop being too willy-nilly with weapons, swords, bombs, and the such. Sadly for all of them, Santa is skipping their homes this yr. 

    (Full disclosure: Recreation Informer is owned by the GameStop company, nevertheless, our mum or dad firm had no perception into the rankings or evaluations current on this article) 

    2) Cloud Strife – Ultimate Fantasy VII

    As my colleague Jason Guisao so elegantly places it:

    1) Louse The Mouse – Daze Earlier than Christmas

    For those who’ve made it this far into this checklist, then this one ought to come as no shock. After all, the online game character Santa is skipping essentially the most this yr is Louse the Mouse from Funcom’s landmark 1994 sport Daze Earlier than Christmas. 

    I do know I am preaching to the choir right here – everyone seems to be all the time saying this – however Louse is such somewhat rat. Pun absolutely supposed. This little son of a gun had the audacity to tear via the world’s Christmas presents, casting a curse on all of the presents. I swear if I may get my very own fingers on Louse the Mouse, for what I’d do, you finest consider there’d be coal in my stocking this yr, too. It makes my blood boil simply excited about it.

    Louse the Mouse is a menace to society and a menace to the vacations. And due to this fact, he earns the highest spot on our checklist of online game characters probably to get coal of their stockings. 

    Was our checklist appropriate? It was! No want to depart a remark this time; we acquired it proper. Have vacation!



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